Safe City Ch.200.2

Chapter 200.2: The Toilet God has Manifested!

Cheng Qisheng, who was observing from the sidelines, automatically interpreted this as meaning that every region spoke its own dialect, but whenever people from different regions met, they could all switch to Mandarin.

“The cultivation realms, from lowest to highest, are the Qi-Sensing Realm, Form-Condensation Realm, Dharma-Manifestation Realm, Cloud-Riding Realm, Mountain-Subduing Realm, Mountain-Governing Realm, and Fallen Heaven Realm.”

Both Cheng Qisheng and her believer, Wu Mingfeng, automatically interpreted this as equivalent to the seven ranks of Fallen Heaven: from Rank One to Rank Seven.

That was certainly easier to remember.

In terms of the divine cultivation system, an ordinary Earth God was generally at the lowest level, the Qi-Sensing Realm, when first coming into being. As time passed, relying on worship and offerings from believers, they might gradually advance to the second realm, Form-Condensation, after a hundred or two hundred years.

As for the hierarchy of underworld officials, even the County City God had only reached the third realm, Dharma-Penetration. However, he possessed the City God’s golden seal, which allowed him to temporarily reach the fourth realm, Cloud-Riding.

Below him, the Civil and Martial Judges, as well as the Day and Night Patrol Gods, were all at the second realm. The Yin soldiers were at the peak of the first realm, while the underworld clerks were only at the initial stage of the first realm.

Judging by this, the entire administration of underworld officials under the County City God didn’t seem particularly powerful. In reality, however, they were more than sufficient for handling matters within a single county.

Their daily duties mainly consisted of patrolling the surrounding areas and apprehending wandering ghosts at the first realm. When they occasionally encountered second-realm demons and spirits, the Day and Night Patrol Gods could deal with them directly. If something proved particularly troublesome, the Civil and Martial Judges would step in to provide support.

“Over the past few decades, the number of demons, monsters, ghosts, and spirits has increased dramatically. We’ve had no choice but to intensify our patrols every day. Originally, we were just barely managing to maintain peace throughout the county. Who would have thought that a formidable demon at the Dharma-Penetration Realm would appear in a tiny place like Man County?”

The County City God wore a deeply troubled expression.

Otherwise, as the City God responsible for an entire county, he wouldn’t have been so accommodating toward the Earth God of a mere village.

They were desperately short on manpower!

The underworld officials throughout Man County had been working themselves to the bone for quite some time. One moment, an evil spirit would appear in one place; the next, a wicked demon would emerge somewhere else. They were already overwhelmed when a formidable demon suddenly appeared, slaughtering people in three villages and causing the Day Patrol God to perish.

At a time like this, forget Wu Mingfeng being a genuine Earth God—even if he had been a demon freeloading off incense offerings, the County City God would have been perfectly capable of keeping a straight face and pretending he was an Earth God.

At a time like this, there was no need to worry about differences between divine systems. The more deities capable of fighting on behalf of the county, the better.

Wu Mingfeng looked surprised.

“If you’re truly so overwhelmed, why not ask the City God of the prefectural capital to dispatch troops and send reinforcements?”

The County City God shook his head with a bitter smile.

“It’s not just Man County. The underworld officials in every territory are so busy that they barely have time to sleep during the day. At least our county has only had one demon at the Dharma-Penetration Realm appear. In Mingyue Prefecture, I heard just last month that three greater demons at the Cloud-Riding Realm had joined forces to wreak havoc. There were even demons stealing people’s hearts. Their situation is far more difficult to handle than ours in a small county like this.”

“I’ve heard that in just one year, the Martial Judge of the prefectural capital has died three times, while the Civil Judge has died twice. The Day and Night Patrol Gods have also been replaced an entire round. As for the ghost soldiers and underworld clerks, there’s no need to even mention their losses. How could they possibly spare any manpower to reinforce us?”

That was right. The County City God had already started referring to the two of them as “us.”

Earth Gods couldn’t leave their assigned territories. Since this Lord Ming had come into being in Man County, he naturally belonged to the county’s divine administration. That meant the County City God could worry a little less about the villages in this area.

Besides, righteous gods and evil gods were particularly easy to distinguish. All one had to do was look at the color of the divine power surrounding them.

Underworld gods generally radiated white divine power, righteous gods had golden-yellow divine power, while evil gods were shrouded in something resembling black mist. It was easy enough to tell which side they belonged to.

The County City God even rose to his feet and bowed deeply and earnestly to Wu Mingfeng.

“Now that the Day Patrol God has perished, I find myself even more stretched thin. I ask that Lord Ming assist me in protecting the surrounding villages.”

Wu Mingfeng now understood the operating principles of Earth Gods quite clearly. Being an Earth God was essentially the same as being bound to a specific territory. There was no going anywhere else.

“Well… it’s not that I’m unwilling to help, but I am the Earth God of Xiaoluo Village. I’m afraid I can’t leave the boundaries of Xiaoluo Village.”

The County City God immediately assured him that this wasn’t a problem.

“Tonight, I’ll visit the county magistrate in a dream and have all the surrounding villages incorporated into Xiaoluo Village.”

The Blue Sea Creator God, who had never seen much of the world, and her equally inexperienced believer were both stunned.

You can do that?!

…

The County Magistrate of Man County was working late into the night.

He had no idea what had been happening lately. Never mind the cases involving demons, monsters, ghosts, and spirits—even ordinary crimes had been surging. Murders, robberies, all sorts of violent offenses were on the rise. He could barely keep up with the cases he had to adjudicate, leaving him no choice but to burn the midnight oil.

Today, a wolf demon had caused trouble as well, and the constables had gone out to pursue it. He still had no idea how things had turned out.

Finally, unable to hold out any longer, the County Magistrate yawned and called out toward the door.

“Bring me another cup of strong tea!”

No one outside responded.

Puzzled, the County Magistrate assumed it was too late and that his servants had been unable to stay awake. With no other choice, he got up himself and pushed open the door, only to discover that the area outside was completely deserted.

He turned around—and saw a man in a scarlet official robe with a purplish-red complexion standing silently before him, gazing at him.

For some reason, despite the man’s imposing appearance, the County Magistrate found something oddly familiar about his face.

Yes, it was that unmistakable look of exhaustion and worry between the brows, an entire face that seemed to scream ‘What is the point of living anymore?’, with a hint of the numbness that came from doing far too much work.

Over the past few days, whenever the County Magistrate looked at himself in the bronze mirror first thing in the morning, that was exactly the face staring back at him.

Consequently, he felt a strange sense of kinship with the man and asked, “Who are you?”

“Have you forgotten me already, Your Excellency? You came to visit me just last month.”

The County Magistrate looked puzzled. “Nonsense! I’ve been busy every single day for the past month. I haven’t left the county office once—”

As he spoke, he suddenly paused.

Wait. He had left the county office last month. Several young men in the county had had their hearts ripped out, leaving the people terrified. As the County Magistrate, he had gone to the City God’s temple to offer sacrifices and beg His Excellency the City God to deal with the heart-stealing demon.

Thinking back carefully, wasn’t the statue of the Man County City God also purplish-red in complexion and dressed in a scarlet official robe?

The County Magistrate jolted in alarm and hurriedly bowed in greeting.

“The County Magistrate of Man County pays his respects to Your Excellency, the City God!”

The moment the County Magistrate identified the other party, white mist suddenly surged up all around him. Through the shifting haze, he could only hear the City God’s voice, which seemed to come from far away.

“The world is in turmoil, with chaos erupting everywhere and evil spirits running rampant. Man County cannot remain untouched by these calamities either. The Day Patrol God has already perished. You must make preparations early…”

The County Magistrate of Man County was greatly alarmed. He had already noticed the recent increase in strange and chaotic incidents, but he had assumed that only ordinary people were suffering. He had never imagined that even the gods were falling victim to these calamities.

But the City God was telling him to prepare early?

What difference was that from asking an ant to fight a bull?

“Your Excellency, I’m merely a mortal! Even if I’m protected by the aura of official authority, all I possess is the meager official aura of a county magistrate. What can I possibly do?”

The imposing voice grew increasingly distant, yet every word remained perfectly clear.

“Heaven has blessed Man County by sending us a righteous god. Although this deity has only just come into being, His divine power is remarkably abundant. You must worship Him sincerely, present offerings, and ask Him to protect the people in the surrounding areas…”

The County Magistrate chased after the white mist.

“Your Excellency, please don’t leave! I beg you to tell me the name of this revered deity and where He resides!”

The indistinct voice drifted out of the mist, growing fainter and more blurred.

“Xiaoluo Village. The Earth God, Lord Ming. Go and seek Him—”

“Incorporate the surrounding villages into Xiaoluo Village. Whatever offerings He requests, provide them all. Remember this well, remember…”

The County Magistrate shuddered violently and suddenly lifted his head from the desk.

“Your Excellency—!”

The candle flame flickered. The candle itself was noticeably shorter than before, and only then did he realize that he had apparently fallen asleep with his head resting on the desk.

A servant entered carrying a teapot. Seeing that the County Magistrate looked rather unsettled, he asked, “My lord, were you having a nightmare just now?”

“A dream… A dream…”

The County Magistrate was momentarily bewildered. Then, all at once, a sharp pain struck his palm.

He opened his hand and discovered a mark that looked as though it had been pressed into his skin by a fingernail. Clearly imprinted in the center of his palm was a single character:

Luo.

It hadn’t been a dream!

Xiaoluo Village. The Earth God, Lord Ming!

The County Magistrate abruptly sprang to his feet.

“Quick! Quick, bring me the county gazetteer for Xiaoluo Village! Find out which villages surround it, too, and bring me their records as well!”

The servant had no idea why his master was suddenly acting so frantically in the middle of the night.

“My lord, why do you suddenly need all these things?”

The County Magistrate’s gaze was resolute.

“I intend to incorporate every village that can possibly be merged into Xiaoluo Village!”

The City God of Man County stood right in front of him, but since the other party was a living human, he couldn’t see the deity at all and simply continued going about his business.

The City God nodded in satisfaction, stroking his beard.

Even when someone successfully received a divine visitation in a dream, there was still a chance they would forget everything upon waking up.

All that effort had been worthwhile. He had even expended some of his yin energy to slowly carve the character “Luo” into the County Magistrate’s palm with his fingernail.

Now things were looking good. By transferring responsibility for a large number of ordinary people to Lord Ming, he would be able to take his Yin soldiers and focus on dealing with that heart-stealing demon.

…

That night, Xiaoluo (Little Luo) Village was on the verge of becoming Daluo (Big Luo) Village. The County Magistrate of Man County was working overtime, the City God of Man County was working overtime too, and Wu Mingfeng, who had just become an Earth God, couldn’t sleep and was practicing his combat techniques.

And on that very same night—

Toilet God Qin Sannian was memorizing tactical theory when she suddenly heard some strange noises. It sounded as though two tiny, high-pitched voices were talking.

“Did you get it lit?”

“Yep, it’s lit.”

“Hehehe, did you make them fall asleep?”

“Don’t worry. I blew several breaths of air inside. They’re sleeping like logs now.”

Two little flames burning with green fire hopped out from in front of the outhouse, disappearing into the darkness.

One of them turned toward the outhouse and spat out a ball of fire.

The outhouse immediately went up in flames.

Qin Sannian: “?”

What the heck is that thing?

It just set her home on fire like that?!

As a Tier 4 water-type ability user, she immediately conjured up a huge mass of water without the slightest hesitation and enveloped the two little flames in it.

The two flames, which had been feeling rather pleased with themselves just moments ago, began screaming at the top of their tiny voices.

“What the hell is this?!”

“Aaaah! It’s eating me!!”

The two flames struggled desperately, trying to escape their watery prison. Qin Sannian was finding it difficult to hold them, but she gritted her teeth and stubbornly refused to let go.

Meanwhile, Cheng Qisheng opened her eyes in the middle of her sleep—

Qin Sannian suddenly felt her entire body grow lighter. It was the familiar sensation of a blessing from Our God.

Her heart had already been brimming with fighting spirit, and now her morale soared even higher. Layer upon layer of water vapor coiled around the two flames, tightening until their voices gradually weakened, then fell completely silent. In their place remained two glowing apparitions that flickered with red light.

Qin Sannian thought the two red glows looked absolutely delicious. Without giving it much thought, she stuffed them into her mouth.

‘Oh, my God! They’re really, really tasty!’

‘They tasted just like roasted sea-monster meat.’

After eating them, she immediately understood what the two balls of fire had been. They were Fire Wraiths, creatures that loved setting fires and causing trouble wherever they went. To ensure that the people inside a building burned to death, they would deliberately render their victims unconscious as well.

When Fire Wraiths died, they transformed into a mass of energy. Ordinary people who consumed it could prolong their lives, while deities and demons could use it to increase their cultivation.

Qin Sannian discovered that her figure had indeed grown a little larger. Her body no longer felt so weightless, either. Instead, she could stand firmly on the ground, and she was no longer confined to that tiny patch of territory. Even her field of vision had risen noticeably.

It was only after gaining this extra height that Qin Sannian finally noticed the house ahead was on fire. The entire family who worshipped her was still inside, sitting or lying in complete silence without making a sound.

She hurriedly floated into the house. Sure enough, the whole family was sleeping peacefully in their beds, as though they couldn’t even sense the raging flames drawing closer.

“Wake up!! Wake up!!”

Qin Sannian tentatively touched them and discovered that she could make contact as long as she channeled a little energy into her hands.

However, only her hands could touch physical objects. Covering her entire body in energy would require far too much faith power, and she simply didn’t have that much.

Qin Sannian shook the family several times, but not a single person woke up.

“Wake up! The house is on fire!!!”

When shouting failed to rouse them, she decided to use the Blue Sea approach.

She simply swung her fist with all her might and punched the male head of the household squarely in the face, knocking it sideways.

Then she threw another punch. The man’s face, which had been knocked to the left, snapped back to the right.

When she saw him coughing and finally opening his eyes, Qin Sannian was convinced that she was a genius. With Our God’s blessing, the old methods really were the most effective! She hurried over to beat up the woman of the house as well.

Apart from the children and the elderly, every adult in the household received an equal-opportunity beating from her at lightning speed.

“Cough, cough, cough…”

The male head of the household opened his eyes through the pain. In his hazy vision, he made out a vague gray figure standing nearby, shouting at the top of its voice.

“Wake up! Hurry up! The house is on fire!!!”

The house is on fire?!

He shot upright, only to see that his wife had sat up as well. The two of them hurriedly began carrying their sleeping children and elderly family members outside.

By the time they finally got everyone out, they turned around to discover that the entire house had burned to the ground. There was no one else inside.

The neighbors rushed over to help extinguish the fire. After a hectic struggle, dawn broke. Only then did the villagers discover that black smoke was rising everywhere, yet the spot where the little clay statue of the Toilet God stood remained completely clean. Not only had the flames failed to reach it, but not even a speck of ash had landed on it.

Then they remembered what the couple had said while rubbing their swollen faces: a gray figure had appeared and woken them up…

“The Toilet God! The Toilet God has manifested!”

Qin Sannian watched with satisfaction as everyone figured out the truth.

‘Hahaha! Now you get it, don’t you? There’s so much I can do! I’m not just some deity stuck outside a toilet, forced to watch people take a dump!’

Sure enough, the villagers began bowing to her.

They presented offerings, lit incense, and burned candles.

Moreover, the entire village declared that from then on, every household would enshrine and worship the Toilet God outside its own outhouse.

Qin Sannian: “…”

Well, whatever. Going from being the Toilet God of one household to being the Toilet God of an entire village is still progress, right? This must be thanks to Our God’s protection!

—

Cheng Qisheng woke up.

After blessing a believer who could actually fight the previous night, she had confirmed that everything was under control and gone straight back to sleep.

But today, when she awoke, she discovered that more than a dozen additional wisps of mental power had appeared before her.

“City Lord.”

Aether swayed as it floated over to her.

“The World Mission has been issued.”

“World Mission for This World: Reforge the Heavenly Dao.”

Cheng Qisheng had only just woken up, but after hearing those words, she felt as though she might not have woken up at all.

“Reforge the Heavenly Dao?”

“Us?”

What kind of ridiculous mission was this? They were talking about the Heavenly Dao here!

Did that sound like something a bunch of people who had fled an apocalypse could possibly reforge?

Aether added, “Reward for completing the World Mission: one portion of World Rules.”

“Note: Once a Safe City has collected five portions of World Rules, it can advance into a planet.”

“Even if it cannot collect all five portions and obtains only one, the Safe City can still acquire some planetary characteristics, such as having its own core and mantle.”

Cheng Qisheng: “!!!”

She sprang up—or rather, slowly and laboriously hauled herself out of bed.

“That’s right! Reforging the Heavenly Dao is exactly what we’re going to do!”

“Let’s do it!”

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