Chapter 85: Do you want the Feng family?
Yu Shi wiped the water stains from his hands, silently organizing his thoughts.
Originally, when he went out this time, he planned to think things through on his own.
At first, he truly believed that this time was no different from every other time in the past—just taking care of an employer for a paycheck.
But… Feng Xuexiang was too dependent on him.
More than any other employer he had ever taken care of—not physically, but with a deep emotional need that unknowingly shook him.
Yu Shi was aware of his own flaw—he needed to be “needed” by others. In the past, this need had been focused on his brothers.
Now, it had fallen onto Feng Xuexiang.
He longed for close relationships yet resisted them at the same time.
Because “love” was always unpredictable, not as stable as familial bonds, which instinctively made him cautious.
When Yu Shi realized that he was being shaken by Feng Xuexiang, he considered whether he should distance himself and return to a purely professional relationship.
But before he could figure it out, Feng Xuexiang had already followed him.
Those two days, he was very agitated inside, yet because of these fluctuating emotions, he became even more aware of his own heart.
He would never throw a tantrum at a regular employer, nor would he get angry with them—it was just a job, after all.
If he felt uncomfortable, he would simply quit, without caring what the other person thought. In this regard, he wasn’t as gentle as he appeared.
But with Feng Xuexiang, he hesitated.
Even when he was angry with him, he couldn’t bear to leave him alone. Even though he hadn’t figured out what he wanted to do, seeing Feng Xuexiang’s anxious and careful demeanor still made him feel compassion.
It had nothing to do with the job or the system’s tasks.
Now, he had only one concern: he wondered if he might not be fit for the role of “lover.” It was a subject he had never studied.
Feng Kuo watched Yu Shi in silence, not rushing him, his gaze casually sweeping towards the door.
After a moment, Yu Shi slowly spoke, “I don’t understand emotions very well. In this matter, the wishes of both parties are important. I can roughly understand myself, but I’m not so sure about him.”
Feng Kuo laughed and said, “What’s there to be unsure about? Look at him—if you said you wanted to marry him, he’d probably grab his dowry and elope with you.”
“Do you really think just anyone could take the Feng family’s spirit demon out of there? Didn’t you notice how differently he treats you compared to others?”
Yu Shi’s expression shifted.
Even when something is clearly evident, it often still requires words to uncover it.
“I understand that he relies on me, and this reliance stems from me helping him. It might be something similar to imprinting.”
“He seems to instinctively cling to me, but I don’t know if he’s thought it through.”
The reason he had come out for a while was originally to give Feng Xuexiang some time alone to think.
Feng Kuo exhaled a puff of smoke, thinking to himself, I’ve been single for years as a straight man—how could I possibly understand what you two are thinking?
Better not to overthink it.
He then raised his voice toward the door and called out, “Little Ninth, I’m asking you—come over here and answer for yourself.”
Yu Shi turned around and saw Feng Xuexiang standing at the door. He walked out of the darkness, holding Yu Shi’s coat and scarf.
As he approached, he accidentally tripped over a chair.
Seeing the nervous flicker in his eyes, Yu Shi asked, “Why are you holding my clothes?”
Feng Xuexiang snapped out of it, realizing he had almost torn the coat in his grip, and softly replied, “I was just wondering if you’d like to go for a walk.”
Noticing Feng Kuo watching them with keen interest, Yu Shi stood up, took the coat and scarf, and responded gently, “Alright, let’s go for a walk.”
As Yu Shi walked outside, Feng Xuexiang instinctively followed. Yu Shi opened the door, gesturing for him to go out first, then nodded at Feng Kuo before stepping out as well.
Feng Kuo: Tsk, what a shame, no drama to watch.
By this time, Apu Village had already fallen into the quiet of night, with only a few lamps along the road illuminating the nearby snow.
Yu Shi noticed Feng Xuexiang staring at him and asked helplessly, “Did you hear what I just said?”
“Yes.” Feng Xuexiang suddenly asked, “So you don’t hate me?”
Yu Shi replied, “Why would you think I hate you?”
Feng Xuexiang said, “Because I’ve been clinging to you, making you unhappy.”
Yu Shi responded, “Even the closest people can sometimes make me unhappy, but that doesn’t mean I would hate them.”
Feng Xuexiang looked into his eyes and blurted out, “Then would you be willing to like me? I can give you everything I have.”
Yu Shi thought of Feng Kuo’s earlier joke and smiled, “I don’t need those things.”
“What do you need then?” Feng Xuexiang asked eagerly, leaning forward with anticipation and urgency, but unlike usual, he didn’t grab Yu Shi’s arm. Instead, he maintained a cautious distance.
“All I need is mutual affection. I want a lasting, stable companionship.”
A trace of hesitation and gloom appeared in Feng Xuexiang’s eyes. “Lasting? If I forget you, would you leave?”
It was the first time Feng Xuexiang had brought up this topic on his own.
Yu Shi replied, “If you forget me, I will ask you again this time next year.”
Instead of relaxing, Feng Xuexiang grew more anxious. “Do you mind what Ming Tang said? That in the future, you might die because of me?”
When they were at the Ming family, Feng Xuexiang didn’t react much to Ming Tang’s words. Yu Shi had assumed he didn’t care, but now he realized how much it had weighed on him—so much that he was afraid to bring it up.
“I didn’t say those things to anger Master Ming—I genuinely meant them,” Yu Shi thought to himself, finding it somewhat amusing.
“And I don’t believe in predestined fate or the future.”
He had originally wanted to ask Feng Xuexiang’s thoughts, but now it seemed Feng Xuexiang was the one seeking answers from him.
But perhaps there was no need to ask anymore—Feng Xuexiang’s reaction said it all.
“How should I prove myself now?” Feng Xuexiang pressed, “Whatever you want me to do, I can do it.”
Countless thoughts flashed through Yu Shi’s mind before he finally smiled in relief. “Prove it with every day from now on.”
“This isn’t a test for you; you can think of it as another journey for us.”
Feng Xuexiang had already decided long ago that he would never let Yu Shi leave, but now, hearing Yu Shi express his feelings, he suddenly felt at a loss, caught between overwhelming joy and anxiety.
Is he just trying to comfort me? Is what he’s saying really true?
Despite possessing great power, he was fragile and insecure when it came to emotions.
Seeing the deep fear in Feng Xuexiang’s eyes, Yu Shi suddenly realized that whatever Feng Xuexiang felt for him, it must be all-consuming for him to be so profoundly affected.
When faced with someone more vulnerable, Yu Shi’s instinct was to place himself in the role of protector.
At this moment, he no longer pondered what kind of feelings Feng Xuexiang had for him. Instead, he took the initiative and gently held his hand.
“Don’t be afraid.”
“No matter what you’re worried about, it won’t happen.”
After a brief pause, Yu Shi spoke up, “I like you.”
His tone was gentle, with a hint of shyness.
Feng Xuexiang froze for a moment, and tears suddenly welled up in his eyes.
Yu Shi was surprised. “Why are you crying? Aren’t you happy?”
For reasons he couldn’t understand, Feng Xuexiang looked at him, clearly having received the response he longed for, yet it was as if he was already expecting the pain of losing him.
He stepped forward and hugged Yu Shi tightly, pressing his face against Yu Shi’s hair as he whispered, “If tomorrow you tell me you regret it, I will… Please don’t regret it, okay? Even if you find out I’m terrible, don’t regret it.”
As they walked back together, hand in hand, every time Yu Shi turned to look at Feng Xuexiang, he was met with a smile.
But his eyes were still red, and occasionally, when his long lashes fluttered, a tear would fall. He was smiling as he cried, not making a sound.
Yu Shi stopped and used a towel to wipe away Feng Xuexiang’s tears. “What’s wrong?”
Feng Xuexiang shook his head. “Can I carry you back?”
Yu Shi thought he had misheard. “You want me to carry you back?”
Feng Xuexiang replied, “I want to carry you—or hold you, that works too.”
In the end, Yu Shi let him carry him back. They had walked quite a distance, and by the time they returned, everyone else was already asleep.
When they entered the room and turned on the light, Feng Xuexiang’s slightly reddened eyes were even more noticeable, and it seemed like a layer of frost had formed on his long eyelashes.
Yu Shi used the towel to gently press against Feng Xuexiang’s face, then crouched down in front of him and asked, “Why are you crying? Is it because I treated you badly before? Did I hurt you? I’m sorry. I’ll treat you better from now on, okay?”
Feng Xuexiang was almost dazed by his tenderness, feeling as if he had turned into a butterfly—light and airy, floating as he lay down on the bed.
The bed was warm, so warm that it made him flush, his heart pounding while his limbs tingled.
Even just seeing Yu Shi smile at him caused a ringing in his ears.
“Can I hold you while we sleep?” Feng Xuexiang asked softly.
Hearing his faint voice, Yu Shi didn’t hesitate to agree, “Of course.”
But Feng Xuexiang didn’t move after hearing his words. Yu Shi didn’t mind and took the initiative to embrace him. Only then did Feng Xuexiang snap out of it, slowly hugging him back and gradually tightening his grip.
“I… really like you.”
“Mm, I know.” Yu Shi held him, thinking that Feng Xuexiang’s dazed state would likely pass by morning.
After a while, Feng Xuexiang seemed to finally calm down, loosening his grip slightly. Although Yu Shi wasn’t used to sleeping while embraced like this, he didn’t pull away.
Suddenly, Feng Xuexiang asked, “Do you want the Feng family? I could give it to you.”
Yu Shi: “…………?”
He opened his eyes and, unable to help himself, sat up, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
He cupped Feng Xuexiang’s head and gently shook it from side to side.
Feng Xuexiang looked confused as Yu Shi said, “I’m just checking if there’s water sloshing around in there.”
Feng Xuexiang: “…………”
Yu Shi tapped his forehead. “Don’t be silly, close your eyes and sleep.”
Seeing Yu Shi’s nonchalant attitude, Feng Xuexiang became anxious. “I’m serious, I can—”
Yu Shi leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Alright, sleep.”
Feng Xuexiang immediately quieted down, no longer rambling on. Even his breathing became almost inaudible.
Yu Shi, feeling a bit concerned, asked, “Are you even breathing?”
Feng Xuexiang: “……”
Yu Shi continued, “You don’t have to hold back. It was just a kiss. Don’t you remember? I’ve helped clean your body many times.”
At that, Feng Xuexiang’s breathing became more audible, quick and sharp. He moved closer to Yu Shi, their noses touching.
“Can you kiss me again?” he asked softly.
Yu Shi obliged, pressing his lips lightly against Feng Xuexiang’s, only to be pulled back into the kiss when he tried to move away.
When they finally parted, Feng Xuexiang’s lips were flushed, and his eyes shone with a bright, wet gleam. His already striking appearance now had an almost mesmerizing allure.
Yu Shi noticed something and glanced under the covers.
Feng Xuexiang’s appearance and demeanor didn’t quite align with this kind of situation. Given his limited memories and occasional displays of childlike innocence, Yu Shi had assumed that, even if there were feelings between them, there wouldn’t be any intimate actions so soon.
It seemed he had been mistaken.
Feng Xuexiang drew even closer, entwining himself tightly around Yu Shi, his arms around Yu Shi’s neck, his gaze fixed unblinkingly on Yu Shi’s lips.
His desire was intense and palpable.
