Chapter 51.2: A Hug
Without giving anything away, she tested the waters.
“What do you want to talk about?”
Lu Yixing spoke in the gentlest tone he could manage.
“What happened just now.”
Jiang Xia’s heart sank.
He really was suspicious!
“Isn’t it already over?”
Wondering whether she should brush him off or turn the tables on him, Jiang Xia said, “I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“I know.”
Lu Yixing wasn’t surprised by her reaction, but he still found himself at a loss.
He had never served as a political instructor and had absolutely no experience providing psychological counseling. He didn’t even know how to make a tactful opening.
But this was something that had to be addressed. If a person didn’t properly work through and release those emotions and instead tried to endure everything alone, things would only get worse.
He struggled to organize his thoughts.
“I know you don’t really want to remember it, but what you did just now wasn’t wrong at all. You successfully covered for me and protected the lives and property of everyone in this carriage, including yourself.”
“What I’m trying to say is… something like that is bound to put you under tremendous pressure. It’s completely normal to experience fear, nausea, disgust, or even keep reliving what happened afterward. It’s simply your body’s stress response. You might even experience insomnia, nervousness, and anxiety. It could last anywhere from a few weeks to several months.”
“You don’t need to think that having these reactions makes you weak, or that they’re emotions a police officer shouldn’t have. You don’t have to be completely emotionless like me, or act cheerful as if nothing happened. I’m like this because I’ve undergone specialized desensitization training. Normal people naturally have empathy toward their fellow human beings. No matter how heinous the person is, if you have to kill them yourself, you’re still going to have these negative reactions.”
“So, Jiang Xia, you don’t need to force yourself to stay calm or insist on putting on a brave face in front of everyone, pretending to be some iron lady. Throwing up, having a good cry—those things will make you feel much better.”
Wait… He wasn’t suspicious?
Jiang Xia was surprised. She slightly raised her head and looked at Lu Yixing.
His expression was extremely serious, and his eyes were filled with concern for her current state.
Right. Lu Yixing hadn’t been working for very long. He wasn’t some veteran criminal investigator with decades of experience, so he wasn’t as likely to notice that something was off about her.
She just hadn’t expected him to say all this—and apparently, he’d misunderstood her quite badly.
Still, his misunderstanding actually fit the circumstances rather well.
In China during the 1970s and 1980s, there wasn’t much attention paid to individual psychological well-being. And at a time when the Cold War and localized conflicts were still ongoing, society as a whole placed enormous value on the image of the tough guy—the kind of hardcore badass who could kill an enemy without batting an eye, take a wound without shedding a tear, and even use gunpowder to disinfect his own wounds.
In specialized fields such as the military and police, quite a few people considered this heroic and held themselves to that standard.
It wasn’t limited by gender, either. Some women even placed higher expectations on themselves, maintaining a tough exterior at all times and never allowing the slightest sign of weakness to show.
But she hadn’t even been aiming for that!
Hadn’t she run off to throw up just now?
How had he gone straight to calling her an iron lady?
Jiang Xia couldn’t help feeling that Lu Yixing’s impression of her was wearing some seriously rose-tinted glasses.
Still, she had to admit that hearing all this was rather comforting.
Jiang Xia couldn’t help relaxing.
If he wasn’t suspicious, then the thicker his filter was, the better. She could use it as an excuse to make herself look even weaker.
“I didn’t expect you to say something like that.”
After saying that, Jiang Xia paused.
She was actually quite calm at the moment and couldn’t fake any negative emotions, so she simply changed the subject.
“Did you have a strong reaction the first time too?”
“Of course.”
Seeing that Jiang Xia was willing to continue the conversation, Lu Yixing breathed a sigh of relief. He nodded slightly as he recalled what he’d gone through back then.
“But my situation was much better than yours. I’d undergone training beforehand, and I was even facing away from the execution, so I never saw the person’s face at all. Even so, I couldn’t sleep properly for two days after I got back, and it took me a whole week to recover.”
After a brief pause, Lu Yixing added, “I had a fellow soldier from my class who had it even worse. After he got back, he threw up three times in one day and took more than a month to recover. That’s still within the range of a normal reaction. There are people who react even more severely.”
Jiang Xia fell silent for a moment.
“Lu Yixing.”
“Hmm?”
“You know that saying, ‘I have a friend’?”
Lu Yixing was utterly confused.
“What?”
“I have a feeling you’re making up a friend who doesn’t exist.”
Jiang Xia tilted her head teasingly.
“The one who threw up three times… wasn’t you, was it?”
Huh?
Why did Jiang Xia’s train of thought jump around so much?
Lu Yixing had absolutely no idea why she would suspect that. Everything he’d said was obviously true.
But when he thought back over what he’d just said, he instantly realized that his example had actually backfired.
“You guessed it.”
Lu Yixing simply admitted it.
“That fellow soldier was me.”
Looking at his expression, Jiang Xia couldn’t help laughing helplessly.
She had actually met someone who was even worse at lying than she was.
Jiang Xia raised an eyebrow.
“Old Lu, here’s a piece of advice. Next time you lie, remember not to answer so quickly. You need to get a little flustered and defensive.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you’re doing fine mentally, either.”
As she spoke, Jiang Xia lifted her head slightly.
“I thought I handled myself extremely well just now.”
Lu Yixing blinked.
Jiang Xia certainly looked much more normal now.
He reluctantly allowed himself to relax.
But after hearing her say that, Lu Yixing couldn’t help recalling the way their eyes had met earlier.
He still remembered what those eyes had looked like. They were eerily similar to the way a tiger or wolf that had tasted human flesh might look at another person.
Lu Yixing’s train of thought suddenly stopped.
He instinctively rejected the idea.
That had to be an illusion.
Jiang Xia was just a student at a police academy. What could she possibly have in common with a wild beast?
That state of mind had most likely been caused by extreme stress and couldn’t be taken as her normal state.
With that thought, Lu Yixing nodded in agreement.
“You’re right.”
“Oh, right. The chief attendant mentioned that they’d put us in for a commendation. Seven robbers… we’d at least get a third-class merit.”
The cold, murderous robbers had now been transformed into a warm and fuzzy commendation. It really did sound rather delightful, and Jiang Xia couldn’t help smiling.
But immediately afterward, she realized something was wrong.
“Wait. Are our families going to be notified?”
If her mother found out how she’d earned that third-class merit, she’d unleash enough tears to flood an entire city!
Lu Yixing hadn’t even thought about that yet. But the moment Jiang Xia brought it up, he suddenly felt a chill run down his back.
Oh no.
If his grandfather found out that he’d encountered something like this while on official business, he would absolutely hobble over to his superiors with his cane and demand that they transfer him to another position!
Neither of them had been afraid when they were actually facing the robbers.
But now that they imagined how their families would react upon finding out, both of them began to panic.
They looked at each other, and both saw terror reflected in the other’s eyes.
This was going to be a huge problem!
“Railway police absolutely aren’t allowed to do good deeds anonymously. There’s no escaping the commendation.”
Lu Yixing immediately said, “I think we can call our superiors first and ask them to hold off on mentioning it for a while.”
“Exactly, exactly.”
Jiang Xia nodded repeatedly.
“Better yet, let’s wait until we get back before telling them!”
The more time they could buy, the better. Dealing with it face-to-face after they returned was much better than letting their families find out right now.
As for whether their superiors would let out any piercing screams after hearing the news…
That wasn’t her problem.
Seeing how lively Jiang Xia seemed now, Lu Yixing finally relaxed a little. He stood up and said thoughtfully,
“The chief train crew’s office is bound to have people coming in and out all the time. If you want to be alone, you can tell the chief attendant and go to one of the crew compartments on the train. Those little compartments have doors you can close and curtains you can draw, so no one will disturb you.”
“Of course, if you want someone to talk to, you can call me anytime. I’ll be by your side most of the time.”
“Right now, I need to go talk to the chief train police officer about the notification. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon.”
Jiang Xia looked up at him.
She knew Lu Yixing was a good person, but someone this considerate was honestly a first for her.
He looked cold on the outside, but inside, he was ridiculously warm.
Like a giant stuffed teddy bear—just the cool-guy version.
“Lu Yixing.”
Jiang Xia’s heart began beating a little faster. On impulse, she suddenly asked,
“Can I hug you?”
The moment the words left her mouth, Jiang Xia regretted them a little.
She knew she had been through far too much negativity today. Deep down, she was desperately craving some positive feedback, so it was perfectly normal that she wanted a hug. After all, maximizing tactile stimulation could stimulate the body to release hormones, making a person feel satisfied and relaxed.
But she should be asking a female train attendant for that, not Lu Yixing!
Saying something like this would be way too suggestive after the turn of the millennium!
Jiang Xia really wanted to take it back and tell him to just hurry off. But although the words of denial lingered on the tip of her tongue, she couldn’t bring herself to say them.
After all, not every hug meant the same thing.
At her words, Lu Yixing froze where he stood.
He was genuinely startled. He had never expected Jiang Xia to suddenly say something like that.
Countless thoughts rushed through his mind. After a moment of silence, Lu Yixing lowered his hands and stepped back to make room, doing his best to act as naturally as possible.
“Sure.”
With that, he closed his eyes and let Jiang Xia make the first move.
Jiang Xia took a deep breath.
I just killed a robber. My nerves are completely shot. What’s wrong with hugging a comrade who just fought alongside me?
Gritting her teeth, Jiang Xia stood up, walked over to Lu Yixing, spread her arms, and hugged him without another thought.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. The pressure traveled through her arms and into her brain, somehow bringing with it a strange sense of comfort.
Jiang Xia instinctively leaned her upper body against him as well.
The body in front of her tensed slightly, but quickly relaxed again. The other person made no movement whatsoever, his hands still hanging at his sides as he fully committed himself to his role as a human body pillow.
Even through two layers of clothing, she could still feel the touch of his slightly taut muscles against her arms and the skin of her upper body, accompanied by a pleasant warmth.
This really was comfortable.
Jiang Xia thought so.
Unable to resist, she pressed her face against him as well.
A rapid yet steady heartbeat reached her ears.
Once.
Then again.
A living person!
Super strong, super reliable, and super considerate!
Jiang Xia closed her eyes and felt a sense of relaxation she hadn’t experienced in a long time.
Ten seconds passed, and Jiang Xia didn’t let go.
Thirty seconds passed. She still hadn’t released him.
One minute.
Two minutes.
Three minutes.
…
…
Time ticked by, second after second.
Lu Yixing didn’t dare open his eyes. He didn’t dare say anything to make her stop, and he didn’t even dare think about anything.
He frantically repeated four words in his mind.
‘I’m a piece of wood. I’m a piece of wood. I’m a piece of wood…’
For Lu Yixing, every second felt like an eternity.
He sincerely hoped time would pass faster and that Jiang Xia would let go soon.
Unfortunately, that clearly wasn’t up to him.
Jiang Xia was still hugging him. The happiness brought by this satisfying sense of physical contact temporarily made her forget much of the negativity she’d experienced, making it feel as though everything had suddenly become wonderful.
It was settled.
Mama Lu’s bosom really was broad and comforting~
Just as Jiang Xia was completely immersed in her relaxation, the door to the crew office suddenly opened with a ‘click’.
Jiang Xia snapped awake and jerked her head up.
Chief Train Police Officer Zhao Weiguo was standing in the doorway.
He stared at the two people embracing inside.
He froze for a second, then immediately understood the situation.
“I didn’t see anything!”
As he spoke, he looked away, took a step back, and pulled the door shut behind him.
How was that any different from trying to cover up what he’d just seen?!
Jiang Xia screamed internally. She hurriedly withdrew her arms, took two steps back, and stood there with a perfectly composed expression.
It was fine. At least it wasn’t Huang Xueling, Chen Dong, or any of their other colleagues who had seen them. There was no way this would get spread around.
Lu Yixing, who had also heard the commotion, opened his eyes immediately.
He had desperately wanted Jiang Xia to stop just moments ago, yet now that there was suddenly nothing against him, he inexplicably felt a little disappointed.
Why was he disappointed?
Before Lu Yixing could figure that out, a loud knock came from outside the door.
“Ahem!”
Zhao Weiguo cleared his throat outside and called loudly,
“Comrade Lu, I’m coming in!”
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