Chapter 61: Sports Festival
In the large classroom on the third floor, a banner reading “Bling Bling Star Games” hung on the wall.
Today was the indispensable sports festival segment of the talent show.
The trainees stood beneath the banner, divided into eight groups based on their second performance stages. Each group wore practice uniforms of different colors to mark their teams. They would compete through several events to determine the overall champion, and the winning team would receive a mysterious prize.
As the center of the Bloody group, Lai Yudong stood at the front of his team, looking very much like one of those placard-bearing guides.
His understanding of sports festivals was stuck on the usual items—1000m runs, 4x100m relays, medicine ball throws—so he was very curious about how the show would arrange one.
The practice room was spacious, but it could only accommodate small-scale events like standing long jump or jump rope. In the context of a variety show, those lacked both competitiveness and entertainment value, turning the whole thing into nothing more than a forced large-scale team-building activity, even duller than usual.
That was until Liu Qichu, the host, announced the first event—the flour relay.
Got it. This was a fun sports festival.
The rules were simple: each team lined up in a row and had to pass flour down the line using cardstock cards. The cards were to be held in the mouth—no hands allowed. Within the time limit, whichever team had the most flour in their container would win.
A draw decided the order. The first team was Bloody. Since they were short one member, the host Liu Qichu joined them as a favor.
Lai Yudong was second in the relay, behind Mo Li and ahead of Bai Xuanhe.
[It’s over, how could they put Mo Li in first place]
[Get ready to witness the power of a game black hole]
[Good luck, you’ll need it 233]
Lai Yudong: “?”
He had a bad feeling.
“Ready—”
Jiang Yangfan, temporarily filling in as host, held a microphone in one hand and a stopwatch in the other.
“Start!”
The basin of flour sat on the table. Mo Li, the first runner, bit down on the edge of the cardstock. He bent over, straining his facial muscles to scoop up a whole mountain of flour. With such effort, he seemed determined to prove that he wasn’t a black hole when it came to games.
He carefully turned around, the thin cardstock carrying a precarious mound of flour. Even the slightest mistake could turn it into a cloud of white dust.
[Mo Li, you…]
[A little greedy there]
[Why not just bite the whole basin instead]
Even though the barrage comments hinted at the result of the first leg, when Mo Li turned around, Lai Yudong was so shocked that the cardstock almost slipped from his mouth.
This much!?
If the Foolish Old Man could move mountains with this efficiency, he wouldn’t have needed “generation after generation, endlessly” at all!
There was no time to complain. Lai Yudong quickly stepped forward to rescue his teammate whose cardstock was at its breaking point.
Because of their height difference, he had to crouch down slightly to make the handoff easier.
The little mountain of flour blocked Mo Li’s vision, and since the rules didn’t allow them to touch either the cardstock or the flour with their hands, Mo Li had no choice but to hold onto Lai Yudong’s shoulders, stand on tiptoe, and try to dump the flour onto his card.
Unfortunately, he poured the entire pile all over Lai Yudong’s face instead.
Mo Li: “…”
Lai Yudong: “…”
[Holy shit hahahahaha]
[I’m sorry! On behalf of Mo Li, I apologize to all the Yuzu fans!!!]
[That’s exactly what a game black hole is like /sigh]
[Yuzu’s face just went pale]
[Perfect, Golden Yuzu has turned into White Yuzu hhhh]
Flour stung his eyes, and Lai Yudong finally understood what “smoke and mist all around” really meant.
The mountain of flour he received had turned into nothing more than a thin coating. But not wanting to waste any more time, he simply turned expressionlessly to pass what little was left to the next runner.
Bai Xuanhe burst out laughing with a “pffft.”
The cardstock, not bitten tightly enough, shot forward like a Peashooter firing at zombies, landing squarely on Lai Yudong’s face—like a talisman slapped onto a zombie’s forehead.
Lai Yudong: “?”
…What just happened?
“Sh—sorry!!”
Bai Xuanhe fumbled in a panic, peeling the card off his face and hurriedly biting it again.
[Yuzu: Are you okay?]
[Brother Bai almost blurted out “shit” hhhh]
[I can’t, this group is going to kill me with laughter]
[Does that count as a foul?]
[They can’t expect Bai Xuanhe to bite the card back off him, right? Kongtong Mountain warning!]
Since the two were about the same height, there was no need to crouch or stand on tiptoe. Lai Yudong tilted his card from the side to pour flour over, but Bai Xuanhe couldn’t stop laughing straight at his face. The cardstock trembled in his mouth as if it had a built-in motor.
The shaking wasn’t the worst part—what was fatal was that every time he laughed, he leaked air, sending flour billowing up like car exhaust, endlessly rising into the air.
In the end, Lai Yudong’s face was once again completely plastered with flour.
Lai Yudong: “…”
…At this point, they could probably wrap dumplings on his face.
[Save Dong-baby]
[Don’t tell me Brother Bai is also a game black hole!]
[Poor Yuzu, this is tragic and hilarious]
[So this is what it’s like to get sandwiched between two game black holes]
With Mo Li and Bai Xuanhe—two so-called “masters of games”—taking their turns, by the time it reached the fourth runner, Jin Xiheng, what he was passing along wasn’t flour anymore, but sheer spirit and belief.
At least it wasn’t flour, that was certain.
When the two minutes were up, the measuring cylinder held a pitiful amount of flour. Several times, the last runner Su Junzhe didn’t even get the chance to participate before the relay ended.
Lai Yudong hopped in place a few times, and white flour rained down from his clothes like the two-thousand-year-old dust of the Terracotta Warriors.
He suspected he had more flour on himself than in the actual cylinder.
After all eight groups finished their games, Bloody came in miserably dead last. Luckily, they quickly made a comeback—thanks to the amazing teamwork of Bai Xuanhe and Jin Xiheng, who won the spinning-and-feeding-snacks game with uncanny coordination.
Seeing the barrage of fans going wild, Lai Yudong finally understood why Li Xu had called them the “Platinum CP.”
Fair enough—their chemistry really was that good.
“Next up is the final event! Silent Shout!”
This was a classic variety show game. Each group sent out two members: one person saw the word on the card and gave the prompt, while the other wore headphones and had to guess. The team that guessed the most words within the time limit would win.
“Let’s start with Bloody group!” Liu Qichu shuffled the name cards and drew one blindly. “Prompt-giver: Miura Yuki!”
Lai Yudong silently lifted his head.
He felt fairly confident about this game. Even though his “character setting” was as an overseas trainee, the prompts were all just words. As long as he mouthed the characters slowly, one by one, his pronunciation would be perfectly clear.
After all, even children reading flashcards could pronounce them clearly.
Liu Qichu drew another card: “Guesser: Bai Xuanhe!”
…Sorry, take that confidence back.
He instantly lost all faith.
[Once again, Yuzu is the one being sacrificed]
[Hahaha, Dong-baby’s face is still dusted with flour]
[At least this time there’s only one game black hole]
[LMAO, of course the most important role had to be Brother Bai]
The two sat down face-to-face in chairs.
Lai Yudong glanced at the answer board behind Bai Xuanhe. The first word was extremely simple—it was the title of their group’s performance song.
“Bloody.”
“Arale?”
“Bloody!”
“Almond jelly?”
“B—loo—dy—!”
“Ferrari?”
[Yuzu: awkward but polite smile.jpg]
[Is the music really that loud?]
[I swear Yuzu’s voice should be able to pierce through those headphones]
[Excuse me, is this secretly an ad for noise-canceling headphones?]
“Bloody!”
Unwilling to give up, Lai Yudong repeated the word, this time pairing it with a series of helpful gestures. He pointed to himself, then at Bai Xuanhe, hoping the hints would get through.
Bai Xuanhe widened his eyes, straining to read his lips: “Bailashu?”
Lai Yudong: “……”
…That sounded a little too familiar.
[SOS]
[??? My CP name just came out of the idol’s own mouth]
[Bro you… good luck! No one can save you now!]
[Wait, what’s “Bailashu”?]
[It’s the CP name for Bai Xuanhe × Miura Yuki /cry]
[Explosion level equal to that Maifu incident on the other side]
[《Crouching Dragon, Hidden Phoenix》]
[I ship BaiJin but I can’t stop laughing hahahaha]
[No way, Bai Xuanhe isn’t secretly keeping a phone, right?]
[If he did, he’d be “cueing” BaiJin, the hottest CP, not some cold one—so it’s probably just coincidence…]
[Relax, my fave isn’t exactly a brainiac, he couldn’t pull off that kind of scheming]
Lai Yudong fought hard to keep the corners of his mouth from twitching, terrified that even the smallest expression might reveal he knew too much about fans’ inside jokes.
If people realized he understood this stuff, it would be troublesome.
Strange things just kept happening every day.
He let out a sigh, giving up on stubbornly pushing the word. He waved at Liu Qichu: “Pass.”
Maybe the English ones were too difficult to guess; the Chinese ones should be easier.
But that thought was quickly proven wrong.
Lai Yudong: “Starseekers.”
Bai Xuanhe: “Paperclip?”
“Star! Seekers!”
“Mutual destruction?”
“Star!”
“Love?”
“Staaaar—!”
“Ying!”
Lai Yudong: “……”
He was done.
A little piece of his dignity as a broadcasting major had just shattered.
Why? His pronunciation was perfectly clear! Were game black holes really this terrifying!?
[I’m so scared Yuzu’s just gonna punch Brother Bai hahahahaha]
[It’s rare to hear Yuzu shout this loudly]
[I’m at work watching on mute and I can still tell he’s saying Starseekers]
[Yuzu-baby really gave it his all]
The more Lai Yudong repeated himself, the more helplessly funny it became. Watching the other guy’s utterly confused expression—completely failing to guess no matter how hard he tried—made the whole effort look all the more tragic.
From a third-person perspective, the two of them must’ve looked absolutely hilarious.
After patient, kindergarten-teacher-level corrections, Yuzu’s persistence finally paid off. Bai Xuanhe suddenly lit up:
“Oh oh! Starseekers!”
Liu Qichu was more excited than the actual player: “Finally, correct!”
The answer board flipped to reveal the third question.
And a new round of torture began.
“Ti·tle·Song!”
“Hearing aid? Bamboo liquor?”
“Ti—tle—”
“Pig’s trotters?”
“……”
[I can’t—pig’s trotters?!]
[I held it in before, but this one broke me completely]
[Yuzu’s been stuck in polite-smile mode all day hhhhh]
[Please, end this nightmare already!]
[Is Brother Bai’s problem his ears or his eyes?]
[It’s his brain that’s not working /smoke]
As the audience around them laughed louder and louder, the countdown finally hit zero. The game—Lai Yudong’s personal hell—was over.
Out of three questions, they only got one right.
Well… at least it wasn’t zero.
“Embarrassing, Xuanhe.” Jin Xiheng taunted gleefully. “Even standing behind the door peeking through the peephole, I’d still be able to tell what Yuki was saying.”
Bai Xuanhe grumbled in protest, “It was really hard, okay! Who can actually guess just from lip-reading?”
“But I doubt anyone will do worse than us,” Lai Yudong said tactfully.
Bai Xuanhe: “……”
The following groups’ performances proved Lai Yudong right.
Even the weakest team managed to get at least three right. The strongest was the Embrace group, who answered an incredible twelve questions. They sped through almost seamlessly, one word every few seconds, hardly ever getting stuck.
And with that, all events of the sports festival came to an end.
Not only did Bloody fail to get anywhere near the championship, they even ended up dead last. Although they had come first in the second game, with two bottom-place finishes dragging their score down, there was no saving their total points.
“I hereby announce! The champions are—the Embrace group!”
Liu Qichu received the prize from the staff and handed it to the group’s center, Xu An: “Congratulations! You’ve won an instant camera!”
[The must-have weapon of all survival shows: a Polaroid]
[Yes! Please let them take a COC family photo!]
[Um… after they take it, can they maybe post it on Weibo… /pokes fingers]
“The very first Bling Bling Star Games has come to a perfect conclusion! Thank you all for participating!”
Lowkey woulda crashed out 🙏