Chapter 29 – The Injured Child
In the modern era, after her mother gave birth to her, she was never cared for. Later, her mother divorced, remarried, had more children, and only remembered those subsequent offspring. She only considered herself their mother and forgot that she also had an older daughter named Xu Jinning.
As for her father, he provided her with money and material possessions, but love and companionship were absent.
The reason he passed on his wealth and company to her was simply because she was his only bloodline.
Xu Jinning knew that her father had been trying for years to have a second child, a son. He tried with stepmother and other mistresses, not only through natural conception but also through artificial methods like in vitro fertilization, but all attempts failed.
She was well aware that if her father had a son, she, Xu Jinning, would still be the abandoned pawn.
Xu Jinning was carefree and emotionally resilient.
However, how could a child with an unhappy childhood from a dysfunctional family naturally be optimistic? In the past, she was sensitive, lacked a sense of security, and was a child longing for companionship.
But her desires were not accepted; her efforts resulted in only harm. Those she cared about didn’t care for her, and some even abandoned her.
After enduring numerous wounds, she became numb.
Tears flowed abundantly, but eventually, they ceased.
So, Xu Jinning gradually learned not to care, not to mind, not to expect. As long as she didn’t care, she wouldn’t demand. Gains and losses didn’t matter, as long as there were no expectations, there wouldn’t be disappointment and harm.
She admonished herself in this way and lived accordingly.
Slowly, she became indifferent, no longer caring about many people and relationships.
Gradually, she began to become cheerful every day. Regardless of the circumstances or challenges, she could adapt easily, treating gains and losses casually, and proceeding with whatever pleased her. She accepted the arrangements of fate with calmness.
From a sensitive child with fluctuating emotions, she slowly became sensible, and her emotions stabilized.
However, humans are not robots, and it’s impossible to maintain emotional stability all the time. She simply learned to control her emotions and not care too much.
So, even when facing the situation of transmigration, she was initially confused and lost, but she quickly accepted it without complaints or dwelling on the reasons.
However, a tear quietly slid down from the corner of her eye.
Xu Jinning reached out and wiped away her tears.
Thinking about the changes in the Xu family these past few days, Xu Jinning felt that the Xu family, including Xu Aiguo, Zhang Ailian, Xu Xiangdong, and Xu Fanghua, seemed to be awakening because they did things completely different from the plot.
However, how were they awakened by her?
Xu Jinning still didn’t know what the trigger was.
But since she already knew it could be changed, perhaps she should make some changes.
Let’s give it a try.
Empathizing, if the Xu family truly awakened and provided her with love and companionship, she would reciprocate.
At this moment, Xu Jinning was like a little squirrel at the entrance of its burrow, cautiously extending her small paws, eyes scanning, holding an expectant heart, nervously watching.
If she truly encountered love and care, she would step out of her safe zone and drop her guard.
But if not, the cautiously extended paws would instantly retract, and she would firmly close the door of her heart that had just opened a crack. From then on, no one would be let in.
Perhaps, a child who has been hurt and numbed by the pain is like this.
*
The next day, Xu Aiguo, Zhang Ailian, and Xu Fanghua, as well as Xu Xiangdong, could clearly sense that Xu Jinning’s attitude towards them seemed to have changed.
In fact, they were all very sensitive to people’s emotions. Before today, when they recalled Xu Jinning’s attitude towards them, it seemed that she responded to everything and took actions seemingly indifferently, as if their presence was unimportant.
This attitude made them somewhat melancholic, but they also knew that it was their previous bad attitudes that had disappointed the little girl.
But now…
They could clearly feel that the little girl was showing more warmth towards them, even if it was just a little. It was enough.
It indicated that their efforts to make amends were effective.
They resolved to work even harder in the future.
Xu Fanghua still needed to go to the commune elementary school for classes today.
As a temporary worker, her class schedule was not fixed. She went to whichever class needed a teacher.
The commune elementary school and the county town were not in the same direction but opposite directions. This was also the reason why Xu Fanghua had asked Wei Rou to help send letters before.
The journey was indeed a bit far.
Fortunately, today she only needed to go to class in the afternoon, so she had plenty of time in the morning.
After having breakfast, she sat in the back seat of her father’s, Xu Aiguo’s, bicycle and went to the county town together.
Upon reaching the county town, her father first drove her to the post office before riding his bicycle to the textile factory.
The post office in the morning was quite busy. In this era, if you wanted to contact someone, besides making a phone call or sending a telegram, you would write a letter.
But whether it was making a phone call or sending a telegram, it was too expensive. Ordinary people wouldn’t use them unless it was urgent.
The most common method was writing letters.
Xu Fanghua wanted to call or send a telegram to Song Yi, but unfortunately, she didn’t know Song Yi’s phone number. She only knew Song Yi’s address because when Song Yi was conscripted to become a military doctor, he specially gave her the address before departing.
After that, she never received any letters from Song Yi. Or rather, all her letters were taken by Wei Rou. Therefore, she didn’t even know Song Yi’s phone number and had no way to contact him.
But Xu Fanghua believed that if Song Yi had written to her, he would have surely included his phone number.
This was also why Xu Fanghua temporarily didn’t confront Wei Rou but planned to find an opportunity to get the letters back from her. She wanted Song Yi’s phone number.
If she had confronted Wei Rou when she tore up the letters, Wei Rou would definitely deny taking them and might even destroy the evidence later. So, Xu Fanghua had to wait.
In the past three years, it wasn’t the first time Xu Fanghua had entered the post office. Although she hadn’t come to send letters before, in the first few months, she had come to inquire if there were any letters from Song Yi for her.
But each time, she received a negative answer.
Disappointed time and again, coupled with Wei Rou’s provocations, she stopped coming to the post office. Only when Wei Rou helped her send letters did she ask if there were any letters from Song Yi. But each time, the answer was still negative.
Over time, Xu Fanghua started to believe Wei Rou’s words. Doubts arose in her mind—did Song Yi forget their agreement and truly fall for a beautiful girl in the cultural troupe?
Lost in her thoughts, the person in front had already left. Xu Fanghua hurried forward and said, “Hello, comrade. I want to send a letter.”
“Sure.”
